congratulations to you...

You made it your mission to make my life so miserable. Congratulations. You succeeded. Happy?!

I was right all along. The clearance of the clouds that had happened last week is just temporary. And now, it is cloudy once again. And I guess, with things that has happened, it has managed to once again cast clouds of doubts and negativity upon my logic and reason and oh well, also upon my well of emotions.

I don't know if the problem are just me and my moods. I dunno. But what I feel right now is that I am again hanging. I made things that I know would have produce effects and fate, I think, has decided to play a game with me. Things turn out quite unexpected and made me feel that I am finally grounded only to find out that fate has just made a hanging bridge to deceive me, to make me feel I am on the ground. And now, the hanging bridge fell and I only have myself and a vine to hold on to.

I know this would be over if I just trust you and whatever life has in store. But I am scared not knowing where it could lead me. I want to know where I am heading. I am a brat and I just know what I want and hanging is not included in the things I want.


I may be asking too much but I don't. Believe me, I don't. You have no idea. I have given more than enough slack. And well, it made me think. Maybe, I could give you all the slack I could give. And maybe, it will be the best for us. You know what I mean.

You know from the start, I want you to be happy and I'd be willing to give you that. But if it means that I have to be miserable just for you to be happy, I can't give you that. I love myself more than anything. I can't give up my own for yours.

You are my friend. You know that. But things can't continue like this forever. And you also know that. Maybe one of the reason why you did things these days. And I appreciate that. Thank you. But things are still left unsaid. Maybe I will just wait for you to approach me someday and tell me the things you never want to say right now. As always, I am just here to listen. And maybe after that, you and i will not be hanging anymore.

Until then, I have a life to live and to enjoy. Live and enjoy yours too. I want you to be happy. Because I want me to be happy as well, even without you...Hoping it is just for now.