ever experience a morning so beautiful, you are empowered, hopeful, happy positive and you just feel that every thing's going to be ok and then comes afternoon and something just hit you and every positive energy you had has gone out of your system..

just happened to me.

i was so happy this morning...i thought every things is going to okay.... it was new to me because i always play on the safe side... i dont give up on the positive side. don't wanna hurt like hell at the end. but just this morning, i dunno what it is that make me, but i was suddenly happy and optimistic. i just felt from my heart of hearts that what i was hoping for will happen. My LSS went with such emotion..happy. a bit in love as a matter of fact. Dunno where it came from though. Maybe because of the song. *shrug*

And then, just what i was stirring away from, the pessimism chased me. Just came from behind. And now i feel so depressed. sad. hopeless. unhappy. and then, reality came into the picture. all sorts of scenario came in...95% of it??negative thoughts...

*sigh* thank goodness i have a "sister"...brian. sis, thanks for cheering me up. i know sometimes, my "kagagahan" is a way too off... but you were there to make me laugh and be hopeful again. though most of the time, it doesnt take me out of my bad mood, be assured you are appreciated. thanks. and yes, you are right, i can do this. i know i can..in time. Ü

whew!my work is over...but it was so depressing that my reason for doing this, left me. i want to work to have my own money to spend for gimmicks and stuff..but, unfortunately, the moment i got my money, the gimmick is too far. *sigh* i dont blame the people. i am just. i wanna come. but it's my dad's bday..i can't come..darn!i have no choice here. i wanna...being a brat wasnt able to help me...*sigh*

sad.