because i was so lazy to post different entries under the same date, i have to put it in 3 parts.

I.

i know i should be studying for my Finals right now since it would be on Wednesaday. And technically, it is already Tuesday. But I'm damn too lazy. And it increased when I saw my class standing. I just need to get a very low grade for Finals to get a 3. Why would i settle for a 3? e kasi yun lang naman ang passing grade that i could get. i just had a summer class to remove a 4.

a price i have to pay, i guess. hay. sana lang talaga mawala sa tcg yung 4 ko para ma-retain scholarship ko. if not, damn. i would regret not dropping this subject. I could have gotten a higher (so much higher) grade. hay. oh well.

II.

i was in the middle of loading a page in youtube.com. It contains a video of Episode71 of the Prince of Tennis. Got inspired by my friend, Angela. Then my brother came in. Asked what I was loading. I said it was Prince of Tennis. And he exclaimed, "E lumabas na yan sa Ch11 e!naka-dalawang ulit na nga yan bago mag Kaleidostar e!" Napasigaw ako ng, "What???" Naknangtokwa. Napalabas na pala!sabi ko pa naman kay Gela, wala dito sa PInas. E I'm starting to like it pa naman (dahil sa mga stories na gawa ni Gela.hehe.)

Another price I have to pay for not staying at home aften during the 2nd semester?tsk. I was not able to watch any show lat sem! Even my favorite Gilmore Gilrs, I let one season pass! And I never missed any season prior to that! shoot.

Guess I have to just watch Prince of Tennis in youtube.sad.

III.

sabi ko kay Ivan dati, ayoko na ginagawang status message yung title ng entry ko. so di ko siya ginawang title. pero still, i want to make an entry in connection with my status message.

"I love the pain, a breeding ground for hate..."

A line from Silverchair's "Miss You Love" song.

And i think, meron ding line si Yoda na parang ganyan. Ang thought, because one is not able to let go of pain, nagkakaron ng anger and hatred in his heart.

I welcome pain as something that would make me feel human. Pero there are times lang kasi, I have become so wounded with something, I can't help but feel angry and hate the thing that hurted me. Thankfully, di pa naman ako nagagalit sa mundo.

Right now, so far, di pa naman ako nagagalit or namumuhi. But I was just thinking, if anger and hatred would get me out of this shit, should I welcome it? It is all about not allowing it naman to penetrate your heart and soul di ba? tipong, for now, a propeller. a drive to get me out of the dipshit I am in.

I don't wanna be stuck here forever.

And it made me realize after I have a had a small talk with Vigile, again, i think we're on the same boat. Not a good boat but at least I have someone to help me cross the ocean, right?