paralysis

according to a quote i received, missing someone is like a paralysis to the brain. and true enough, you'd totally loss control of your mind. you don't know what to think, what to do, what to feel. you'd feel like you're going insane. thousands of things come across your mind. you can't sleep at night even if you want to. so many things crowded in your head. no matter how hard you try to disregard them you can't. at one point, you would just wish someone would punch you straight to dreamland. but noone's there to ease your sufferings. just you and your non-stop brain. you'd shout at your own brain to stop and it would answer back that it can't. just the same, it doesn't stop. it can't stop. you're in for ride that would make you so dizzy and puke (inside your head, of course).

did you get the picture?? if you do, congrats. you've just had a trip inside my brain. i just realize, it is better you miss a lot of people than to miss just one. well, in my experience, missing just one person is the best ticket straight to ward7.one way. lol.

even if you want to not miss a person or a few, you can't dictate to your brain. especially my brain. i have always believed that my brain has a brain of its own. i can't just stop it when it decides to think for itself especially pessimistic things. ooh. my brain's brain is good at it. it might have been a good debater if it has a body of it's own. believe me. it can debunk any premise of optimism you would present. my brain's brain is stubborn. whatever it choose to think, that's it. the end of debate. and it's better to just let it win. at least i get to sleep, even if it means i've got to sleep with a heavy heart and swollen eyes. doesn't matter. at least, i get to sleep, hoping tomorrow my brain's brain would be in a good mood or that it has been so toxicated enough with pessimism and it would decide to have a personal holiday.

today, my brain's brain is at work. i woke up on the wrong side of the bed. not in a good mood. i easily get hot-headed. pessimism at its best. thought of so many things i wanna do. mostly, to end some craps in my life just so i could ease this heavy feeling in me. what can i do? i am just a human capable of feeling. and it just happens, today, i have paralysis in my brain with an extra help from my brain's brain.

the only good thing that has resulted with having a paralysis of the mind today was that i was able to write an article. once in a blue moon, i write articles. all, inspired by pessimism. good job. i think my brain's brain was the one responsible in aiding me with the article. i finished it quite fast. *pat on the back*

tonight, as i lay myself to sleep, i would be expecting a major paralysis attack. but i would be begging my brain's brain to produce no tears. i'd be sleeping beside my mom tonight. as always, i'd be leaving my room empty again. so i am imploring my brain's brain's mercy to not let a tear shed tonight. please? dementors will be entertained, just no tears ok?

i feel i am having minor paralysis attack just about now...in no time, when i'm already on my bed, with my blanket over my head and my childhood pillow in my arms (it's the only thing i could hold onto anyway) i'd be having the major attack.oh no.please have mercy.