I know, I am Selfish

I feel so bad now. I was actually looking forward to a great night. And it started great.

But I think, I said too much for my own benefit. Should I have not just said it?

Leslie was right that sooner or later, I had to choose. And I told her, "How am I going to do that when the question is not raised yet?"

Now I know how. Questions are not needed.

An invisible line has been drawn.

Now come to think of it, am I feeling bad for that person or am I feeling bad for myself?

Am I being selfish for wishing I have both?

Both of the choices are included in my recent wishes. But I told Leslie, I'd prefer one over the other.

Now that the preferred one was the one left, how come I feel bad not getting the other one, too?

I am being selfish, I know. And I am sorry.

And yes, now I am sure. More than feeling sorry for that person, I feel most sorry for myself.